The Coming Of Trump
Former Montreal Canadien goalee Ken Drydan has written a thoroughly amusing essay in the 7/8/16 WSJ that he titles Trump And The Broad Street Bullies that purports to explain Trump’s success hitherto.
Ken tells the moral myth of the coming of the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team. An expansion team they were assigned the dreck of the league’s players that guaranteed a last place finish. Comes the Coach Fred Spero who Ken depicts as a sort of John the Baptist preceding the coming of the Christ or in another word, Trump.
Spero discarded all the old rules and taught his players to engage in maximum physical contact outside established custom. Hockey is rough enough under normal circumstances. Spero had a couple skilled players who got all the slap shots while the other players were beating up the opposition so badly that many opposition players refused to show up for games. The Broad Street Bullies as they became known bullied the team to two straight championships.
Then came the Montreal Canadiens, something like the Royal Mounted Police to put a stop to the New Age, as I read it, by being meaner and badder with a couple more skillful slap shot artists. The moral then, Big Bad Bully Donald Trump using the same tactics as the Broad Street crowd forces the saintly Party Regulars to follow Ken’s and the Canadien’s example to fight fire with fire. That’s Ken’s interpretation of the situation: The Devil vs. the Saints.
I wish to put before you a different scenario. In mine I cast Trump as Young King Arthur who pulls the mighty sword Excalibur out of the Stone and the Party Regulars as the Canadiens who try to discredit the real Arthur and prevent him from becoming King.
Young Trump made a career of pulling Excaliburs from stones. Beginning with the pittance of a million dollars loaned to him at interest by his doting father he built an empire of many billions. (Reports of how many differ wildly but all agree, billions.)
As a rising young Mogul, Young Trump was courted by obsequious politicians who not able, apparently, to raise enough money from the Jews, for substantial contributions. Young Trump gave with an open hand. How open, his hands being small, may be argued.
Bowing and scraping, lauding Young Trump to the skies, the politicians backed out bowing low, with the money, until next time. Shamed and embarrassed at their own sycophancy they among themselves called Young Trump a clown and a fool.
Time passed, as it will, and Young Trump stacked up a few decades so that he became portly, but not as portly as Old King Cole, and visibly no longer young, but his hair remained good. A young man is gratified by women and flattery but as Trump passed the meridian in life he no longer needed flattery, however his eye for the ladies was undimmed.
As he said, idly fondling his new wife, the thought came into is mind, what next? Is this all there is? As he was completely satisfied with his new wife, and why not I might ask, he thought: I’ve got money, vast lands and a TV show, why shouldn’t I realize my destiny and become the president of the United States Of America? Hence, the coming of Trump emulating that of Arthur.
He had a collection of swords pulled from stones and thought these should be enough make his point. Oh, and one from a damsel called The Lady Of The Lake.
Yet, lo and behold, the Party Regulars were horrified at the idea of their rich Fool’s entering their turf. The now Fully Mature Trump was yet a political naif while having no reason to suspect the revulsion of what after all, were his impoverished vassals.
Further, laughing behind their shapely hands, they devised a plan of a number of so-called TV debates in which they would humiliate him so invidiously that Fully Mature Trump would realize his error and abandon his political fantasies.
Thus a great tournament was arranged on the turf of Faux Fox in which a general melee between Fully Mature Trump and the various candidates for the Top Job of the Nation would fight it out directed by a panel of judges led by the beauteous Princess Megan and two other knaves whose names have disappeared down the memory hole. The beauteous Princess Megan was much more memorable. Then she had a bad hair day and began to look like a young Alan Ladd. Not bad, but not the same thing. Unfortunately for the Princess she agreed to play the role of the Wicked Witch of the East.
Sneeringly she directed her first question at Fully Mature Trump: Mr. Trump, why are you an asshole? While visibly hurt at what he considered a betrayal Fully Mature Trump wearing two of his many swords in this myth of destiny, flexed his tiny hands and whipped out his left hand sword and symbolically sent Princess Megan’s head rolling down the aisle.
Now comes an old joke but I’m going to tell it anyway. I got it from the singer of the group Blood Rock.
With a quiet chuckle Fully Mature Trump gave the now dead Megan a moral lesson. He said: Megan, I always said that you were so stupid that if your brain was placed on the edge of a razor blade it would look like a BB rolling down a four lane highway.
That was cruel, but, it is a cruel world and it was him or her; besides she had taken the role of the Wicked Witch and, well, it might be said that Fully Mature Trump, the Knight of the Two Swords, gave her her just deserts.
That tournament that night announced the Coming of Trump.
He now has to win a few more tournaments but if his heart is pure he will have the strength of ten. Plus he should keep his eye out for a Merlin.
The One who was to make his return and has.