The Republican Gage Match XIII: Don Trump Takes On The Political
Republican Cage Match XIII or some such Roman numeral extravaganza was staged in the basketball court of some Miami college Thursday 3/10/16. It was the same day I got my annual haircut for a comparison in importance.
While it didn’t happen I expected them to introduce the players like this: Bouncing on to the stage now is Don ‘the Man’ Trump wearing number 14 at center, limping forward Jack Kasich wearing number XXIII, at fast forward Oleaginous Teddy Cruz wearing the number of ill omen, and at short guard in number 00, Little Marco ‘Rube’ Rubio. And in the counting house Rupert ‘Rupey’ Murdoch whose most famous saying is: This gate seems a little light. Well, you know Rupey, the help these days.
It didn’t happen quite that way but on the ludicrosity scale it was still a 10; a really big shoo. The earlier games were a cross between basketball, football and fake wrestling. They were faster paced unlike this one that was something of a yawner, but what a yawner folks!!
The highlight of the show was the Heil Israel Moment or March. It was led into by the revelation that the Donor Class was not exactly disinterested but sought, get this, a tit for tat. ‘Everybody must give something for something they get, so I reached in my pocket and felt with my thumbs and offered my very last piece of gum.’ to make the obligatory St. Bob Dylan quote. That settled it became clear that all the other players were obligated to the Donors except Don ‘the Man’ Trump. He had enough pocket change to pay his own way.
That raised the question of who they were obligated to. Teddy ‘Wobbly’ Cruz was wearing Goldman Sachs letters stitched to the back of his uniform so that settled that. Battling Georgie Soros seemed to have sprinkled money liberally around. Being a sore loser he promised to spend more money to defeat Don Trump than he had to buy all the others combined. Georgie seldom makes a mistake in valuing his purchases so he knows the worth of that towering Center, Don Trump.
This scene cheered on by Jake Tapper the so-called moderator then devolved into the Heil Israel Moment. Forming a line the contestants goose stepped around the stage seeing who could shout Heil Israel the loudest. As in the Soviet Union when Stalin was applauded the guy who quit first became the scapegoat. Don ‘the Man’ Trump flagged out first.
There was no effect then as the other three, fully amplified by neck microphones and the guy in the basement were still lustily shouting Heil Israel, Heil Israel, Heil Israel.
However the following day March 11 or March 12 whichever number comes after 10, I forget which sometimes, Don Trump began to be attacked for inciting riots at his own rallies. To the uninformed this seemed odd if not preposterous. Then it was explained that Don was only holding these rallies to incite Barry’s Boys and Hillary’s Girls to invade Don’s Rallies at which they became incensed upon hearing ideas forbidden them. You’d riot too wouldn’t you, who wouldn’t?
So if Don didn’t hold these rallies that mortally offend Barry and Hillary there wouldn’t be any riots. Problem solved. So as Don’s ideas differ then he should obviously allow these rude unprincipled Democrats to take over his rallies and destroy them. Who wants to hear Don’s crappy ideas anyway? It is such an obvious solution I’m amazed it hasn’t occurred to Don spontaneously.
Jake the Dapper Tapper the master moderator bowed his head in disgust at Don’s loutish wanting to win. It is appropriate that he works for CNN down there in the ratings basement. Who else would want to?
In the aftermath of the aftermath Don says he’s not going to do any more of these silly exhibitions. Wouldn’t you do the same? Who wouldn’t? Vote for Don, make him feel good.