An Open Letter To AG Eric Holder


An Open Letter To Attorney General Eric Holder


R.E, Prindle


Dear AG Holder:

                                  I can’t tell you how I welcomed your brave words that now was the time to cast off the shackles of both repression and oppression and speak openly and frankly about what you called ‘race.’  While I thought you were sincere I openly and wholeheartedly applauded your brave stand.

     I wrote with new confidence and a bounce to my step trying to understand and expound on the racial problems confounding our globe.  For you see I no longer see myself as an American in a parochial sense but as a global citizen as much African or Asian as I am European with the concerns of all my fellow men in mind.  Like you I want the best for the global community.

     One world, one dream.

     But the path to that one world is multi-farious and the dream multi-faceted.  While Africa, Asia, Europe and the Americas may share the ideal of one world the means of achieving that dream are many.  A paradox I know but not doublespeak.  In this country we call it multi-cultural diversity as I’m sure that you are aware.

     In that magnanimous and open spirit I wrote a scholarly essay titled Tarzan Over Africa.  The title was immediately censored.  Why such an innocuous title should cause you to censor it is beyond me.  As you may be aware Tarzan is the greatest of cultural heroes to we of the pale complexion.  He is ten times more important to us than your Zulu Chief Shaka or your Shona chief Mugabe is to you of a darker hue.  God has created us all in a wondrous rainbow of colors, hasn’t he? 

     Still, do not mess with Tarzan, Sir.  You have grossly offended the European culture and in its name I demand an apology and a retraction of your censorship.

     I demand, Sir, that you remove your ban from the title now.

     As you know, Sir, from your command post in Washington DC we of the European culture have borne  a great deal of insult and injury from various cultural bigots patiently to this point but bear in mind that great social upheavals arise from seeming trifles.  Tarzan is our God, Sir, he is our audacious Hope!

     You can mess with Rohan, you can mess with Mike King but you don’t mess with Tarzan.  He is ours. 

     So relax your censorship, Sir, and let’s get on with this racial dialogue you propose.  In any open free discussion you should not be surprised if opinions are expressed that are contrary to your own.  That is what a dialogue is about.  If you have any opinions about Tarzan or anything any culture may cherish feel free to express them, we encourage it,  it is in our genes, but we will not tolerate censorship or muzzling.

     Be true to the ideals you have sworn to uphold, Sir.

     And if you weren’t sincere when you swore to uphold the Constitution of  the United States of America more than shame on you.  God’s going to get you.


     R.E. Prindle


2 comments on “An Open Letter To AG Eric Holder

  1. Speaking of U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder:

    Eric Holder is a racial-minority individual, and in his heart and mind he inevitably does not endorse hate crimes committed by George W. Bush.

    George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).

    George W. Bush did in fact commit innumerable hate crimes.

    And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that George W. Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.

    Many people know what Bush did.

    And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.

    Bush was absolute evil.

    Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.

    Bush is a psychological prisoner.

    Bush has a lot to worry about.

    Bush can technically be prosecuted for hate crimes at any time.

    In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.

    Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
    B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
    Messiah College, Grantham, PA
    Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993

    I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it is a linguistically excellent statement, and it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think the quotation came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.

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